Posted tagged ‘should I bring my children to a wedding’

How children manage weddings

November 12, 2009

 children at weddings, include kids at weddings? do kids belong at weddings? should I bring my children to weddings? parenting advice; parenting tips                                                                                                                                                                       The girl at left summarizes how some children feel about weddings!

Children are expected to be quiet and still. She’s doing pretty well.

Parents shoulder the stress of children at weddings. They have to take care of them and set boundaries.

One reason I brought my brood of four children to church regularly was for them to learn to sit down and be quiet for 30 or 60 minutes. It’s a valuable skill.

Some parents tell me, “I can’t take my children in public.” It’s reasonable for parents to expect children to behave in public. Good training starts at home.

When parents set reasonable limits at home, they prepare their children to follow limits in public. Parents who respect the attention span and schedules of their children can take them out in public for short times.

In the classic case of the child screaming in the store, it’s the mother (usually dads have more sense and less desire to shop) who is at fault. She’s not respecting the needs of the child by demanding he behave in a store when he should be playing, eating or sleeping. If moms want to shop, get dad to watch the child, hire a babysitter, ask a relative to help, trade babysitting with a friend, or stay home.

Some children would rather stay home from weddings.

Children can be stressed by being included in the bridal party. When my 6 year old daughter was in her aunt’s wedding, it was enough to be included, get the outfit ready and day dream about it in advance.

The young flower girl had a melt-down on the wedding day because the excitement was too much to contain. Somehow she collected her emotions and managed.

Like many brides today, her aunt wanted my daughter to participate. We brought her two younger brothers, too, so we were on duty for the wedding — until the kids wore out and we turned them over to a babysitter on call — the ideal situation.

Weddings are adult events. Children are not mini-adults. I don’t say this often, but children are entitled to have their stamina respected. Children are not at weddings to perform, be displayed or to make their parents look good.

They want to have a good time, and I can guaranteed their good time is different and will end a lot sooner than our good time.